Memoir Release!

Hi Everyone, Just wanted to let you know that my memoir, Something Spectacular: The True Story of a Rockette's Battle with Bulimia, will be released online May 29th! Check out a preview on Amazon.com or B&N.com :)

Pie in the Sky

Recently there has been a similar theme in several of the clients I work with. I guess the easiest way to describe it is that many have great difficulty imagining what recovery and freedom from the eating disorder looks like since they are in the beginning of their process.

I had one client say, "Recovery is like some 'Pie in the Sky' concept. I hear all of these people talk about what their experiences with EDs were like and how great their life is now. But what I don't hear is HOW their life got to be so wonderful."

It can be so difficult in new recovery to imagine how life can feel safe and fulfilling in the absence of the eating disorder. Just HOW is one supposed to deal with thoughts of emptiness, shame, guilt, self-loathing, body image issues, etc. The HOW is the work and it isn't always fun to do.

I am on the other side of this. HOW I got to where I am in recovery today is by identifying the psychodynamic issues, identifying my beliefs about myself around those issues, challenging my belief system, being willing to look at alternative perspectives, incorporating a new thought process and belief system into my daily life, implementing new coping mechanisms, and practicing not using ED symptoms. WOW, that's a bit exhausting just writing it!! BUT... it is SOOOOO worth it!!! And possible!

Coupled with this, it is imperative to have a desire to change, believe you have an ability to change, believe there is a reason to change, and believe there is a need to change, then YOU can commit to your recovery. Of the four areas in bold, if you feel ambivalent about any of those areas then that can be a good place to start the "HOW" work.

The "HOW" is about what you do on a daily basis. Making small, attainable goals is what I have found to be most helpful. Where are you in the process???

Patience and Perseverance is Key!

So often I hear patients in early recovery questioning whether it is really working because they don't feel better already. They share their discouragement about how they are working really hard and discuss just how hard it is to not engage in their eating disorder.

The first thing I usually ask is how long have they been working on their recovery versus the length of time being in the eating disorder. The answer is usually along the lines of, "Well, I've been in my ED for 5 years and have been in recovery for two months." Most often a smile appears on their faces shortly thereafter as they realize that it might be unrealistic to expect complete satisfaction with their lives after such a short period in recovery.

I remember when I was in early recovery thinking similarly. Recovery is difficult and it often feels unnatural in the beginning--simply because it is! It's hard to use coping mechanisms that are healthy when you're so used to relying on the ED to deal with your emotions. How courageous of you to be willing to do the work!! AND, it DOES get EASIER over time.

I had a philosophy professor that put it like this: Your mind is like a muscle. Thinking differently is like going back to exercising after an injury. At first it is hard, it may even hurt, and you may not want to go back to the gym. But, with some patience and perseverance, it gets easier. You may even start to feel stronger.

Recovery thinking is exactly the same. The more you do it, the easier it gets, and the stronger you feel about your recovery.

How are you feeling about recovery today???

Vogue Advocating For EDs...An Airbrushed Reality?

I want to believe that it's true, but my cynical side has some serious doubts. Last week, Vogue announced that it will no longer knowingly use models who are under the age of 16 or who look like they have eating disorders.

If the fashion world is defining what an eating disorder "looks like," I question how different the models strutting down the runway will look. Unless the lens of the fashion world has lasic surgery, correcting their long-held distortions and dysmorphia, I question how corrective this measure can actually be. "Who" and "what" measure will solidify the distinction between what defines unhealthy for magazine standards? I highly doubt they will be pulling out the DSM to see the critieria of anorexia nervosa.

To their credit, I do applaud Vogue for putting Scarlett Johansson and Adele on recent covers. They also get points for at least being thoughtful enough to say that they will "structure mentor programs" to help endorse their new "Health is Beauty" concept.

If Vogue follows through and this is not just hype, then this could have huge implications for influencing what impressionable girls, adolescents, and young women strive for. Moreover, it has the potential to change the visual, social, and emotional landscape for what one defines as beautiful and successful.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!